Only Fools and Horses

13 of Only Fools and Horses’ Rodney Trotter’s ridiculous and funny one-liners

"You've been engaged more times than a switchboard"`

Rodney Trotter, the long-suffering younger brother of Del Boy in Only Fools and Horses, has been a household name in Britain for decades.

Played brilliantly by Nicholas Lyndhurst, he was often referred to as ‘Rodders’ or ‘Rodney, you plonker’ by Del.

Always the dreamer, Rodney stuck by his older brother through thick and thin – even though he was terrified of nephew Damien.

The cockney pair, who lived together in a small tower block called Nelson Mandela House in Peckham, continue to delight audiences to this day.

While he wasn’t exactly the sharpest tool in the shed, Rodders loved to drop funny, and at times simplistically brilliant, comments.

So let’s revisit 13 ridiculous one-liners from Rodney Trotter in Only Fools and Horses.

The Trotter family took on the world between 1981 and 2003
The Trotter family took on the world between 1981 and 2003 (Image: BBC)

1. “Stone me Del, you’ve been engaged more times than a switchboard.”

2. “If you had been in charge of The Last Supper it would have been a takeaway.”

3. “I’ve got this horrible feeling that if there is such a thing as reincarnation, knowing my luck I’ll come back as me.”

4. “You git. You rotten git! You never told me my new job was a chief mourner!”

Rodney had some great one-liners
Rodney had some great one-liners (Image: Mirror Screen Grab)

5. “You don’t like baseball, you always called it ‘silly boys rounders’.”

6. “Me wife doesn’t love me, me mum’s left me, and some b*****d’s nicked me bike.”

7. “You were declared bankrupt. You have been banned from running any company from sitting on any boards or dealing with any shares. They don’t even want you past the Stock Exchange on a bike! And you owe the Inland Revenue over £50,000.”

8. “Del, let’s just get out! Before I wake up with a bloody horses head on me pillow!”

9. “God knows how you’ve got the courage to walk down dark alleys wearing all that gold. When they see you coming you must look like a mugger’s pension scheme”.

Nicholas Lyndhurst played Rodney Trotter so fantastically in Only Fools and Horses that we all felt for his character on many occasions
Nicholas Lyndhurst played Rodney Trotter so fantastically in Only Fools and Horses that we all felt for his character on many occasions (Image: BBC)

10. “Whatever the subject is, Mum had something to say about it on her deathbed. She must’ve spent her final few hours in this mortal realm doing nothing but rabbiting.”

11. “You must’ve spent a third of your life standing in front of mirrors. My earliest childhood recollection is of you standing in front of a mirror. Up until I was four, I thought you was twins.”

12. “Yeah, and who was it, during the Brixton riot, that drove down in the van, selling paving stones to the rioters? I mean, what did you think they were going to do with them, eh? All run off home and start building patios?”

13. “I am 24 years old, I have two GSEs, thirteen years of schooling and three terms at an adult education centre behind me, right? And with all that, what have I become? I am a lookout.”

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