The hilarious Only Fools and Horses episode where Del Boy sets up a London tour bus to take tourists to ‘romantic’ parts of the city

Whenever you’re in need of a little cheering up watching reruns of London’s funniest ever sitcom, Only Fools and Horses, is always bound to help. There have been few comedies that could be so hilarious and also pull on the heart strings in the way this one did – touching on Del and Rodney’s struggles and losses as well as all their humorous antics and triumphs.

Often it was the episodes that closely echoed real experiences in London that were the funniest. And the one where Del managed to get his hands on a London bus to run his own tours of the capital is definitely right up there. It was episode five of the first series called “The Slow Bus to Chingford”. Is it coming back to you yet?

It all unfolds when Rodney is trying to have a romantic night with his girlfriend. His terrible chat-up lines involve telling his girlfriend, Janice: “That’s why all art by it’s very nature has to be self indulgent, don’t you think Janice?” To which she replies: “I don’t know Rodney”, totally nonplussed. “My brother Don paints you know,” she adds…”for the council!”

Enter Del who smashes in through the door and bashes the light switch on, before making himself a drink and announcing he likes art himself. Del soon tells a delighted Rodney he’s found him a job as an “NSO” or “Nocturnal Security Officer”.

However, Rodney is slightly less enthusiastic when he finds out it’s basically a night watchman at a London bus depot. It’s for a new company Del has dreamed up called Trotter Watch! “Crime is a growth industry,” says Dell, “so I’m getting in while the going is good.”

Del manages to convince Rodney to try on his new uniform, which is a knock-off from a traffic warden. At the bus depot where Rodders does eventually turn up, Del leaves him to do his job before terrifying him by whistling in the darkness. Rodders looks absolutely petrified and does a runner!

As part of the deal, Del has managed to get his hands on a double-decker bus, and comes up with the outrageous idea of running tours of London. He decides that Rodney will drive the bus while Del will act as the tour guide, and Grandad will distribute leaflets advertising the tours as they go.

Del decides the tour bus will visit “all those romantic places you’ve only heard about in fairy tales” – including the “Lea Valley Viaduct” and “Walkabout in Croydon”.

The next day, while the tour bus is ready to go and nobody has turned up at the departure time, Del bets Grandad £50 that the tourists will show up. Cut to Rodders asleep on the seat, exhausted from his night job. “The only thing that worries me is that if a 59 seater bus is big enough,” says Del. “I’ll bet you £50 not one tourist arrives,” replies Grandad.

Later on, over a traditional “donna kebab” lunch, Del says he aims to sell knock off statues of the Venus De Milo as Boudicca to the customers – who still haven’t shown up. “As a courier, what do you actually know about these obscure places you intend to drag em to?” asks Rodney. “Nothing,” says Del, “which is twice as much as they know.”

Del says he will take the tourists to the places where Sherlock Holmes was born, before Rodney reminds him Sherlock was fictional! He says he’ll drive them to the “summit of mount pleasant”, which Grandad says is just a big post office sorting depot! As darkness falls, Del is still kidding himself.

The next day, Del says he’s going to explain how the Elephant and Castle got it’s name by saying Richard the Lionheart had a castle there “roughly near the roundabout”. He stands on the top floor of the bus and proclaims to Rodney and Grandad his dream to become a millionaire.

He claims to have had a vision in which he sees himself standing on the balcony of a tower block on the south bank with the initials of his company in giant flashing lights. Rodney soon points out that Trotters Independent Traders spells out “TIT” which will be shining in neon lights above Del’s head. A dejected Del decides to “call it a day”.

As the Trotters get back to Nelson Mandela House, Del finds out the real reason why nobody showed up: Grandad threw all the leaflets in the rubbish! An enraged Del tries to attack Grandad and Rodney starts chasing after his brother, trying to restrain him…and the credits start to run.

It’s a laugh-out-loud episode for sure, and you end up wishing you could just get on one of Del’s tours just to see what it would be like.