Only Fools and Horses

21 of Del Boy’s greatest one-liners in Only Fools and Horses

Dodgy Derek “Del Boy” Trotter is the most infamous market trader to hail from South London.

Roaming the streets of Peckham wearing a cap and carrying a suitcase, he’s a happy-go-lucky chappy with wild dreams to be a millionaire.

Pretending to be more successful than he really is, Del Boy tries to take care of his plonker of a brother Rodney, Grandad and Uncle Albert and eventually went on have a family of his own.

Del is alway thirsty to make a quick buck before settling in for a pint down The Nag’s Head with all the lads.

David Jason played the hilarious lead role in BBC sitcom Only Fools and Horses between 1981 and 2003 to become an icon in British comedy and his punchy jokes, and insults, never get old.

So let’s revisit 21 of the funniest and “creme de la menthe” of one-liners from Del Boy.

Only Fools And Horses S3 – Picture shows (L-R) Nicholas Lyndhurst as Rodney Trotter, David Jason as Derek ‘Del Boy’ Trotter and Lennard Pearce as Grandad (Image: BBC)

1.”As Macbeth said to Hamlet in A Midsummer Night’s Dream, ‘We’ve been done up like a couple of kippers.'”

2. “They’re yuppies. They don’t speak proper English like what we do.”

3. “You can’t trust the Old Bill, can ya? Look at that time they planted six gas cookers in my bedroom.”

4. “You’ve always been the same, even at school. Nothing but books, learning, education – that’s why you’re no good at snooker.”

5. “Sit down, Rodney. Keep your brains warm. “

6. “Asking a Trotter if he knows anything about chandeliers is like asking Mr Kipling if he knows anything about cakes.”

7. Rodney: “Del, do they call him Trigger cos he carries a gun?” Del: “No, it’s because he looks like a horse.”

8. “Dear old Grandad, bless him. He was about as useful as a pair of sunglasses on a bloke with one ear.”

9. “It’s a well-known fact that 90% of all foreign tourists come from abroad.”

10. “I am a black belt in origami.”

11. “Rodney, everything between you and I is split straight down the middle: 60- 40.”

12. “It’s the toughest chicken I’ve ever known. It’s asked me for a fight in the car park twice.”

13.“I got a Persian rug with more food on it than a menu.”

14. “Of course he couldn’t swim, he only had one bloody arm. He would have gone around in circles, wouldn’t he?”

15. “Not only have you managed to sink every battleship and aircraft carrier that you’ve ever sailed on, but now you’ve gone and knackered a gravy boat.”

16. “Look at Grandad. His brain went years ago, now his legs have gone. There’s only the middle bit of him left.”

17. “I feel like a mosquito who’s caught malaria.”

18. “I’ve always been an achiever. I’ve never actually achieved nothing, mind you, but I’ve always been in with a shout.”

19. When Del called Rodney “the Peckham pouncer”.

20.”Don’t worry, Rodney. This time next year, we’ll be millionaires!”

21. Rodney: “I’ve been thinking”, Del Boy: “Oh, leave it out Rodney, we’re in enough trouble as it is.”

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